This is one of my favorite questions. It has a simple answer - yes. As surrogates, we do get attached, just not in the way you might think. There is a difference between attachment and entitlement. What I think people really imply with this question is "how do you not feel maternal entitlement to this baby you're growing?". There is a very healthy way to feel attached to the pregnancy, the journey, the experience, the family. However, there is also an unhealthy sense of entitlement that is not ok. Our role as the surrogate is incredibly important and super special, but it is also very specific and limited. We take pride in the fact that our body is going to do what it does best on behalf of someone else so that they can have the opportunity to what we've already done - parent.

Yes. Going through something as monumental as a pregnancy on behalf of someone else definitely requires an "out of the goodness of your own heart" kind of approach, but it is absolutely appropriate to be compensated monetarily. The amount of this compensation is certainly impactful. I go in to more detail on this in my book "The Guidebook for Surrogates: What to Expect When They're Expecting and the Mindset to Keep When You're Carrying For Them."

When I first brought up the topic of surrogacy to my husband, Dean, he shot that idea down so damn fast I thought, "why did I even ask?". Once I took it upon myself to do some research and learn more about this process, I went to him again and laid it all out. I shared my research with him, and I told him about how much this could mean for other couples that have struggled with infertility. His heart is generous and compassionate enough that he could see how something like pregnancy, which seems so easy for us, could be such a struggle for another couple. Once he had the opportunity to ask all his own questions and learn for himself, he got on board and has been the BEST support system for me and such a friend to the families I've carried for.

Well, I do now! There are companies/agencies all over the country that will help connect women that are able to carry as a surrogate with families that need that kind of help. I used the help of one of these agencies for three out of four of my journeys. If you need a strong agency recommendation, let me know!

It was always important to me to have open communication, set clear expectations, and approach each journey with utmost compassion and empathy which promoted strong connections with each family I carried for. That being said, I really built such wonderful friendships with the parents I carried for. With the exception of the first set of parents who are very private people, I definitely keep in contact with each family - not with any expectation to update me on how their child is doing, but truly because we care about each other

When I was a kid, I saw my aunt carry two separate pregnancies for another family as a surrogate and I remember thinking "man, that's cool. I hope I can do something like that some day.". My husband, Dean and I have two boys and those pregnancies were so dang textbook - they were beautiful. I've been super blessed to have such healthy and safe pregnancies and deliveries. Once we decided our family of four was complete, I started researching surrogacy in more depth. Truly researching as much information as possible and learning from different perspectives is critical. I connected with a surrogate matching program and the rest is history.